I show my gratitude for you, Universe.
Dear Universe.
Keep my heart opened. For every avenue.
For every corner, I may cross.
For every idea that I have pushed to the back of the line.
For every negative I have found difficult to adjust to positive.
Keep my heart opened to the calling of my physical self. The rest it needs. The medicine it needs. The sore muscles. The tired bones.
Keep my heart open. To messages I receive. Person, place, or thing. Keep my eyes open, my ears in tune, for my calling.
Dear Universe.
I have faith in you. Only I may fail you. You have never failed me. Keep my heart open.
Keep my heart open in my night dreams. In my day dreams. I know you are sending me messages. Give me the courage to see and listen to those messages. Give me the courage to renew. To adjust. To let go.
Mother Nature always wins. The storms come. The storms calm. Give me courage to stand in the storm. Give me courage to keep my heart warm. Mother Nature is turning her leaf. Mother nature is adjusting my womanhood. Powerless, I am to these changes. Powerful I am for the experience.
Dear Universe.
Keep me open.
To my Gratitude. My willingness. My heart. My mind. My love.
I trust you. I am one in you. You are one in me. The stars have never lied. They have only lead the path, in the dark sky. Let me see the stars. Let me stroll alongside their light. Let the trees speak in a wind. Let the rain cleanse what feels unpure. Let art glow. Let your rhythms meditate my being.
Dear Universe. I won’t fight. And, I will not give up.
I Feel Vibrations.
Although I am a writer, I keep my thoughts and my words limited. I have learned to become more direct when speaking, rather than explanatory. This idea was brought to me, years ago by a trusted person. “Explain as little as possible. Be direct.”
I feel vibrations. From others. I watch body language. I move in accordance to energy.
You can come at me with a smile. You can come at me with words. Yet, I hear something else. I hear your body language. I feel your vibrations. I set my boundaries, accordingly with this. I look at you in the eyes, when I speak.
I keep my side of the street clean. Your side, is your side. It is up to you to clean your street.
We are works in progress. We have our days.
I have become selective of where my energy goes. If standing too close to you sends me unsettling vibrations, I walk further away, until I can’t feel them anymore.
I wear a Soul Shield. Meaning, whatever you bounce onto me, goes back to you. Whether it be love, joy, kindness. Whether it be pain, negativity or strong ego. It all goes back to you.
For, in my mirror, I must be able to see.
My shield comes down in my quiet. To learn the lesson. My shield comes down in the quiet, learning who I may trust.
I appreciate when others do not allow me to invade their space.
I will let you into my space.
I have learned how to set boundaries and be direct without explaining.
I share endlessly.
If you respect me.
I respect you.
Leave your insecurity at the door. Then we may speak.
Blue To Orange
I gaze onto a candle, lit.
Blue to Orange.
I look onto the gray sky against the misty air.
in a still breeze.
I am alone. A single entity.
I am alone. A single entity.
Your company is an addition.
Your company is a subtraction.
I turn off the screens,
Then turn down the volume.
Void of distraction.
Sensitive to noise, I am.
Yet, I dissolve the noise,
from wherever I stand.
Do you hear me?
I speak to myself.
In the echo of vaulted ceilings.
I am careful of my words.
Especially when I am alone.
The sky is becoming dark at noon.
The candle is burning bright.
Have I awakened to day dream?
Or am I sleeping in a night.
When daytime sky has cast gray,
I am confused of the time.
Present. Now. Present. Now.
The present is gone.
It slips past me.
Like, cars speeding on the highway.
The present is a blur of moments.
Yet, I sit still, against the gray sky.
Bound, untied.
I gaze onto, a candle lit.
the wax melts underneath the wick.
Have I gotten any points across this map?
I suppose the lesson is here.
Under the gray sky.
Now, it has produced rain.
Water.
Earth.
Nurture.
Growth.
A few words.
A few rhymes.
I have been gifted again,
with some time.
I just had some time.
I just had some time.
I just had some time.
Gonna just watch.
The.
Candle.
Burn.
Letter to the Universe
I ask you today, please continue to bestow your light.
I ask you today, please continue to show me how to heal.
I ask you today, never to give up on me.
I will never give up on you.
I am one with you.
You are one with me.
Not long ago, I gave myself, entirely to you.
Once I found you, the light, I stayed,
even in my dark times, I stay.
I asked you today, to please take some of my light, give it to those who suffer. I will step into a shadow, and lay quiet.
I know, I have cast shadows before.
I know I have used the light of others, to guide me in my darkness.
I ask you,
Shift my light.
Someone may need it.
Someone may be cold.
Someone may need reassurance.
Someone may need their sorrow lifted.
I show my gratitude for you, Universe.
You gave me another day, with breath.
You gave me another day to be kind.
You gave me another day to Love.
You gave me another day to understand where I could have done better.
You gave me another day, to learn another lesson.
In this, You have my gratitude.
Someday, Universe, when my body decides it is ready to rest, please take me to the stars.
That is where I want to go.
Until then,
I am mesmerized to look at them.
They never change.
They withstand time.
They are my map.
Thank you for giving me courage.
Thank you for my imperfections.
Thank you for my sobriety.
Thank you for my son.
Thank you for my family.
Thank you for my friends.
Thank you, for never letting me give up.
Theme for the day.
Recognize your emotions. Especially the not so wonderful ones. They are just as important to recognize as the wonderful ones.
If not more important.
The void.
An empty space. Perhaps loneliness.
I have a quiet loneliness.
It isn’t dire. I fill it in with poetry. Meditation. What have you. All healthy things, I fill in this spot. With clean water, I fill and drink from the well.
I recognize that I am dependent on my independence. Which isn’t the worst thing to be. Yet, I also recognize that I don’t want this to be a crutch, either.
It is okay to feel lonely.
It is okay to feel whatever you feel.
Recognize it. Work with it. It is a ball of clay. Handed to you. What are you going to make of it.
What are you going to make of it?
How do you fill your well. Is that helpful for you.
Acceptance. Is the key, letting you into the door.
Take a seat. You are home.
My name is Nicole. I live in Washington State. I am a single, co-parenting mother to my 6 year old son.I am recovering on a daily basis. I spent 30 days in treatment in the year 2014. I am living the life I have created out of the love for myself, and the love for my son. Self care always come first. It is not possible to take care of anything, or anyone else if I don’t care for self. I am happy to do so. Recovery has given me my life. I am forever grateful.