A positive attitude will go a long way in helping you have fun with online dating.

Say Yes More Often

2020 was a tough year for dating. The global pandemic meant that it was near impossible to get together in person or even find the energy to talk with new people online. But 2021 has a lot of people feeling hopeful: a vaccine is on the horizon and many people are hopeful about being able to date again. 

But you might be feeling a bit rusty after spending a year taking a step back from dating. If you’re wondering how to get your mojo back, try these nine tips for more successful online dating in 2021. 

Have An Optimistic Attitude

It’s easy to get down in the dumps about online dating, especially if you haven’t connected with anyone recently. But a positive attitude will go a long way in helping you have fun with online dating. 

Remember, there are thousands of people looking for love (or even friendship) online. On a site like Single and Sober, you already know that you have common ground. So, don’t be afraid to seek genuine connections in 2021. 

Put Yourself Out There

In order to get a big payoff, you have to take risks. That applies to online dating, too. The more people you message, the more likely you are to meet someone who you connect with. So, rather than talking yourself out of messaging people who you see online, try to talk yourself into messaging them. 

If someone is very attractive, or a great writer that’s ok — they still want to hear from you. If a profile catches your eye but hasn’t been active lately, send them a message anyway. You never know when your profile might grab someone’s attention. Cast a wide net, and see what you catch!

See The Silver Lining

2020 was rough on many relationships. Unfortunately, the pandemic led to many breakups. Maybe you were one of them. Seeing relationships end is always sad, but it also has a silver lining: it means that more and more people are looking to date. 

If you feel like you’ve seen all the profiles on your dating apps, maybe give the site another look. You just might find someone new to dating who is a good match for you. 

Embrace Slow Dating

Many people are still being cautious about who they meet in person. Because of that, you’ll likely spend more time talking online and by phone before going on an actual in-person date. 

Rather than getting frustrated with that, try to see the time as a chance to create meaningful connections with others. You have the chance to ask questions about them and connect emotionally, since connecting physically is off the table for now.

Sober Dating Website

Ask Important Questions

As part of slow dating, you have the chance to ask questions that you might shy away from in person. Ask people about their recovery journey, or how the pandemic impacted their recovery. Be sure to share your challenges and victories too.

Here are a few other questions that you might like to use:

  • Who are the most important people to you? 
  • What are you most excited for when life returns to normal?
  • What is your favorite food? Is there a dish that reminds you of home?
  • What is something you’re proud of?
  • What is one of your favorite memories?

Expand Your Horizons

Online dating makes it easy to filter out qualities that are deal breakers. Maybe you pass over profiles of people who are shorter than you, or people of a certain age. While these things might seem like dealbreakers, a lot of couples will tell you that they fell in love despite their differences. 

This year, why not take a chance on expanding your dating pool? There’s no harm in talking to more people, and you might just find someone you’re really interested in. If you really form a strong connection with someone, their height or age will probably seem insignificant. 

Finding a needle in a haystack can be frustrating, but exploring the whole farm can be fun. 

Rather than shutting down new connections, challenge yourself to say yes for a week or a month. Reply to anyone who messages you, and reach out to anyone who catches your eye.

Even if you don’t find someone who you’re interested in romantically, you’ll have some good conversations and improve your communication skills along the way. 

Make Sure Your Profile Is Up To Date

Last year brought a lot of changes for many people. You might have lost your job, moved (temporarily or for good) or changed your appearance. Maybe the pandemic made you change your priorities or pick up a new hobby. 

As you start dating in 2021, make sure that your profile (and pictures!) are the most accurate and up-to-date representation of who you are. Don’t be afraid to lean into the changes that you’ve made, and embrace the new you!

Check out this posts for more dating profile tips and tricks – How to Write a Good Online Dating Profile.

Try New Types Of Dates

Once you’ve chatted a bit with a person you’re interested in, give a new type of date a try. In 2021, you can have all sorts of experiences in the comfort of your home. There’s the classic Zoom date, where you connect via video chat. But you can also tour museums, listen to concerts, watch independent films or play games together, even if you’re apart. These dates are a low-risk way to have fun and forge a deeper connection, while staying safe. 

It’s easy to get overwhelmed with online dating. Rather than viewing dating as a mission to find your future partner, change your mindset to one focused on fun. You can meet new people, try different activities and have interesting conversations without putting pressure on yourself. In 2021, adding playfulness and experimentation to your online dating game can help you get excited about meeting new people.  


Kelly Burch is a freelance journalist who regularly writes about addiction, recovery and mental health issues. Her work has appeared in The Washington Post, Vice, and more. Kelly isn’t in recovery herself, but comes from a family that has been touched by addiction in many ways. When she isn’t writing, Kelly enjoys kayaking or getting lost in the woods of rural New Hampshire, where she lives. Connect with Kelly via her websiteFacebook or Twitter.


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