How do I keep positive thought flow, while maintaining my sobriety? Hmmmm. I ponder this thought, halfway through my morning cup of coffee. (I add coconut cream and honey to my coffee. Just to give away my secret.The coffee Gods directly are going down the hatch.)
What does Positive Thought mean to me, exactly? I could bust out some useful cliches for this topic.
“Without the negative, there would be no positive.”
“Without the dark, we would have no light.”
These cliches, I have heard a million times over, yet they stand true over time. “I can fly high. I can sink low. Either path is a good one to go. For in the flight, my wings need a rest. In the low is where my light shines best.” This is a song lyric I wrote. The highs and the lows. The positive and the negatives. All combine together, to make our life stream. To create our path of resilience to life’s circumstance. To shape who we become. All. Up. To Us.
So, how does this little lady hold onto positive thought through continuous sobriety? In my belief, positive thinking is an action. For me, it is a reaction to any given circumstance. Most circumstances, being beyond our control.
Here, I have a story to tell…
This year, I brought my little, purple car in for an oil change. (Some would argue that my car is blue. I am running with purple.) I was expecting a quick oil change. Pay. Go on my merry little way. In the event of retrieving my car, I was informed that I needed all new tires put onto my car. The traction of the tires were low, and hazardous for driving.
There could have been several ways to react to this “negative” news.
“Boy oh Boy. Here we go again. This is going to be an expensive repair. All 4 tires? Why now? I just managed to save a little bit of money. Now, that savings is gone. Good-bye savings. Life hates me. The Universe is working against me. I hate you, Universe. Now I am stressed out. On top of that, I am ugly. My house is a mess. On top of that, I have other bills to pay. Life stinks. I want to buy a 12 pack of beer. Good beer because if I am going to mess up, it is going to taste delicious. Delicious revenge. While I am at it, a carton of cigarettes sounds delicious too. Drink them up. Smoke them down to the filter. Take that car tires! Take that life!”
“Wow. I was not aware that I needed new tires. I sure am grateful that I had the willingness to save my money. Now I can pay for new tires. I am grateful that these old tires did not unravel on the highway, while transporting myself and my child to our destination. I could have wrecked the car, and injured us, and other folks. I am grateful to have the means to pay for safety. Thank you for checking my tires. Now I can go home, reward myself with a pat on the back and a hug from my child. I have a job, my health, my child and now…Brand new tires! They sure are shiny! The Universe is really working to ensuring my safety. I feel no stress, therefore, I can go on my merry way. Therefore, I can indulge in another cup of coffee this afternoon. Life is good!”
We Are In Control
I do not believe in a negative circumstance. Only negative reactions TO circumstance. We can flip the dark into the light. We can adjust negative thought into a positive flow, at any time. It is our only power. It is what we can control.
When we feel “negative”, we are simply fighting the light. Shall I live in the dark? I visit the dark, of course. I choose not to live there. For without the dark, there is no light.
Shall I live within fear? I visit my fears. They are a part of human nature. Yet, I talk to them. I make those fears, less afraid. I don’t want to be that ghost of myself. I want a reflection in my mirror.
A clear, sober reflection.
I chose, for many years to drive my car in neutral, or reverse. I hit many past bumps and cracks. I hit old memories. I drank many alcoholic beverages, living in the past, in reverse. Sitting in neutral, not sure how to adjust to drive.
I am glad my tires were worn. Driving ahead. Passing beautiful landscape along the highway. Sharing stories with my kid, while he looked out the window.
New tires? No problem. As long as I drive ahead, slow and steady. I welcome the brand new change.
Written by Phoenix Rose
My name is Nicole. I live in Washington State. I am a single, co-parenting mother to my 6 year old son.
I am recovering on a daily basis. I spent 30 days in treatment in the year 2014. I am living the life I have created out of the love for myself, and the love for my son. Self care always come first. It is not possible to take care of anything, or anyone else if I don’t care for self. I am happy to do so. Recovery has given me my life. I am forever grateful.