“I don’t feel it necessary to work for a date. The date must work for me. It must be a natural ease of a connection, fallen into my path. I trust that what is meant to be there, will be there.” -Phoenix Rose
Truth be told.
I do not consider myself to be a single woman. I am simply void of romantic partnership with another. I am void of having a “mate.” This void is not a black hole. This void does not gesture that I am “Missing Someone” special in my life. The “Someone Special” in terms of a romantic partner simply does not exist right now. At least not today.
I consider myself, available.
I am available to share any and all fulfilling relationships that fall into my path. My Path.
I work for a Paying Job.
I am a Single co-parenting Mother.
I am a Writer.
A Music Maker.
I am therefore, in relationships of which involve these aspects.
I am in a relationship with coworkers, customers, mother/son, the pen and paper, words and images, and stringed instruments.
I choose not to date another person from work, although if the energy was right to do so, I would be open to it.
Pen and paper are my dates when I sit down to write poetry, essays or songs. My cup of tea keeps me warm while doing so.
I make a date with either my Autoharp, Guitar or Uke. Boy, do we make beautiful music together for hours on end.
I use the term “date” when I refer to these activities in my life for this reason. I am making time for uninterrupted time, giving all of my soulful energy into meaningful relationships.
I work for a grocery store. My customers and coworkers get my full heart and hard physical work.
I work as a single mother. My child gets my undivided attention. Meaning, we take trips to the library. I cook for him. I help him with school homework. We go the park and we take our “I spy with my little eye” walks.
My poetry gets a date with me each day, almost. I meditate my visions through the art of words and channel my soul into each sentence. My truth. My poetry is romance, in itself. Yet, I arrive at our date in slippers and with a hot cup of tea in hand.
My instruments. We sit on the floor together, on our dates. My delicate, long fingers brush across each string as I play music into the night. Highly romantic, I would say. Singing onto a star. Sharing a song with the Universe. Does not get more romantic than this, in my belief.
Single and Sober.
I am absolutely Sober. Absolutely Single. Absolutely careful of what I date.
The idea of being on a traditional date, with another person, sure does make me squirm.
How do I get caught up in someone else’s ways without getting caught up in their ways?
Hmmmmm….for I have been there. Caught up, like a fly awaiting its death of a broken heart. Entangled in the web of a dangerous spider.
Let’s just say, dancing to another’s song is not the dance I want to involve myself in. I just want to dance, freely to my tune.
It is not because I am unwilling to accept love.
I accept love everyday from every angle beginning with Self Love. I have love all around me. Love from family, friends (my chosen friends are my family), my son, music, the ocean, the mountains, the trees, the wind and flowers. I am fulfilled. I get hugs too. And the Universe gives me kisses everyday.
Should I meet another person of whom I feel romantic for? I would be open to that particular path.
I would pursue the stroll of romantic Love with them.
I imagine a scenario like this.
I take my child to the park to play. Within the trees and a breeze. I decide to bring my guitar and sing while he slides and swings. Boom. There is another single parent there, with their child. Listening to my music, or perhaps making their own music, while their child plays. We get to talking. Boom. Natural, unplanned date by destiny.
Just an imagined scenario to make this point.
I will not put MY life on hold to answer the call of a date. I will not step outside my natural path of pursuits to accommodate a “void.”
I stand solid within my priorities. My priorities follow my natural path. A path to fulfillment and contentment. I find love all around me. I find romance in the moon and the stars. I find romance in pink clouds at sunset. In leaves changing in the fall.
I most certainly am open to romantic Love.
I am simply not willing to leave my path to pursue this kind of love.
I have Faith that this Universe will put, directly in my life, fulfilling persons and Love without any effort.
I will not work for that date.
That date will have to work for me.
Sober and Single?
I am Sober.
I am available.
I am Peaceful.
–Written by Phoenix Rose
My name is Nicole. I live in Washington State. I am a single, co-parenting mother to my 6 year old son.
I am recovering on a daily basis. I spent 30 days in treatment in the year 2014. I am living the life I have created out of the love for myself, and the love for my son. Self care always come first. It is not possible to take care of anything, or anyone else if I don’t care for self. I am happy to do so. Recovery has given me my life. I am forever grateful.